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    留一點專注的時間給孩子

    2019-01-14 15:00:49 親情文章 來源:http://www.ssiise.com 瀏覽:

    導讀: 每天早上五點半,我一般都會自動醒來,起床,洗漱,坐在陽臺前,打開電腦,深吸一口早晨的空氣,寫文。幾乎這已經成為我生活的一部分,所以我將早上這一點時間看的非常重要,不希望被打擾。...

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    留一點專注的時間給孩子

    每天早上五點半,我一般都會自動醒來,起床,洗漱,坐在陽臺前,打開電腦,深吸一口早晨的空氣,寫文。

    幾乎這已經成為我生活的一部分,所以我將早上這一點時間看的非常重要,不希望被打擾。

    前天早上還是一樣,我準備好坐下,正在寫文同時,聽到房間里女兒在大聲叫著爸爸。我心想有老婆和女兒在房間,就沒有過多理睬,繼續打字。

    過了一會,房間門打開,女兒一臉微笑幾乎是小跑著從房間里出來。剛剛從睡夢里醒來的緣故,頭發還沒來得及梳,睡眼惺忪的雙眼瞪著我,笑著向我跑來。

    女兒還不到兩歲,表達心情最直觀的就是面部的微笑以及不那么嫻熟的小跑。盡管小跑起來有些歪歪扭扭,還是可以看出非常激動。

    這時候老婆也出來了,最近老婆在準備一項考試,所以應該是早上很早就起來在房間里看書。現在老婆看到女兒出來,自己拿著書到客廳里看。

    女兒跑到我跟前,好奇的看著電腦屏幕,雙手在鍵盤上雙管齊下,拍打鍵盤的聲音噼里啪啦,非常清脆,也非常高興。我寫文剛好一半,被女兒打斷了,就希望她先去客廳自己玩會,我寫完再陪她玩。

    于是我沒有過多和女兒互動,只是機械性的把女兒的小手從鍵盤上拿開,隨便從角落里撿到一個小玩具遞給她,把她抱到客廳,然后我就繼續坐下來,寫文。

    期間我發現她可能發現我的冷淡反應,就干脆拿著我剛才遞給她的玩具,圍到老婆身邊,嘴里不那么連貫地說著:“媽媽,看”。時而又自己笑起來,時而把玩具在地上弄出聲音,想引起老婆的注意。

    當時老婆一邊在看書,一遍象征性的回應一下。女兒干脆起來,把雙手放在臉上,舌頭伸出來收回去。之前女兒看動畫片自己學會的這個調皮的動作,每當她做出這個動作,我和老婆都會立刻也做出這個動作回應她,逗她。

    但今天,老婆只簡單點點頭,眼睛還沒離開書本。我看到女兒一個人原地走了一圈,然后停在客廳中央,突然間大哭起來。我立刻跑到女兒身邊,抱起她,剛才還掛著微笑的臉蛋此刻由于委屈變得扭曲通紅。剛才還有一點激情的雙眼此刻不斷涌出淚水。

    老婆也過來了,我們倆不斷的安慰著她,和她說話,為剛才我們倆的態度向她道歉。然后女兒轉向老婆,喊了一句媽媽,又轉向我喊了一句爸爸,立刻開心的笑起來。

    孩子們的幸福開心,遠比我們想象中要簡單的多。幸福的含義或許每個人理解不同,給出的定義不同。我們總覺得,要拼命的賺錢,賺更多的錢,給孩子更多的玩具,更一流的居住環境,更好的營養,這樣才是給孩子創造幸福。

    為父母者,其心都是相似的,誰都希望自己的孩子穿的好,吃的好,快樂,開心。只不過我們自己強加定義的幸福,真的是孩子需要的嗎?

    我經常在路上看到這樣的父母,一邊拿著手機,一遍心不在焉的回答著孩子的各種提問,甚至還會表現不耐煩。回老家,更是看到很多年輕父母對孩子的各種“無理取鬧”變現的極其厭煩,恨不得孩子一整天都睡覺不吵不鬧。

    我們到底有多少時間,是專門留給孩子的,專門用心放下手里的一切去好好陪陪孩子的。

    我們都太忙了,手機里的朋友圈還沒有瀏覽一遍呢,剛出的新劇還沒看完呢。新的項目要上線,必須加班加班。周末還要和老朋友聚會呢,帶著孩子多不方便。我們感嘆,時間咋都不夠用呢。

    很多人和我說,上班累成狗,回到家還要被小祖宗折騰,身心疲憊。

    我記得看過一篇文章,大概是說,孩子對不起,我沒有那么愛你,至少不如你那么愛我。孩子僅僅是我們人生世界里的一部分,但是我們卻是孩子的整個世界。我想孩子們的幸福沒有我們心里規劃的那么復雜,僅僅是想多一點我們的陪伴,多一點和我們的互動。這點時間里,請保證是專注的,是專門留給孩子的。

    網上和書店里育兒書籍,視頻一大堆。究竟什么樣的育兒理念才是最好的,每個父母都要根據自己孩子情況進行摸索學習。我偶爾也看這些育兒經驗,但更多的是和女兒實際接觸中學習成長。

    孩子的童年就這么幾年,最需要父母陪伴,參與的時候。每每看到電視上播放的留守兒童那種期盼的眼神,我都非常難受,我理解那些父母們不得已的苦衷,但我更同情那些留守在家里,整天見不到父母的孩子。

    一份沒有父母守候陪伴的成長,必定是殘缺的,缺乏安全感的,是沒有溫度的成長。這種殘缺,缺乏安全感將會伴隨孩子一生。

    所以,有些早上女兒起的早,我就沒有更文,這和我之前每日一文的決心有點背離,但我還是想有機會的時候,把這點專注的時間,給女兒。

    如果你也是一個父親或者母親,無論你每天的時間里,三分之一,五分之一,甚至十分之一時間是用來陪孩子的,請做到這一點時間的專注性,全身心的和孩子融在一起,暫離手機,暫離電視,暫離平板。

    一份專注的陪伴,是給孩子幸福的基礎。

    文|東東

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